No matter what, everybody keeps saying being a mom is a blessing. One of the most rewarding things can happen to a woman in her life. Because they carry their babies in her belly for 9 months create a bond that dads won't understand. Moms can feel and sense what is going on with her kids, because of that bond. She fed you when you were a baby and took care of you, cleaned you up, raised you the best possible way for her, but who takes care of her while she does all the above? Dad is usually working and sometimes helping with the chores but that is not the only help we need. Emotional and physical support is needed for everyone to keep fighting their battles and been up to a challenge without failing. Children have their parents to rely on, that's supposedly their job right? But who has them? When things get tough and complicated who has their back? Because they are humans as well and parenting is a task that no one is prepared for, just need to be ready for the challenge and embrace it. But do you remember those days when your mom had to take care of you and your siblings while cooking lunch and cleaning the house, shopping groceries, help you with your homework from school, all while giving to each one of her kids the proper attention. This is an exhaustive job and poorly recognize as is mostly seen as a responsibility and a duty. If you become a mom, you must do that, is your obligation, but how can you raise and care for others if no one, even yourself, is taken care of you? They don't stop being humans just because now they are parents. They still have needs and dreams even when putting their kids before theirs, but should be a two way street that hardly happens and as soon the kids arrive everything moves around them and we are seating in the back seat until they grow up and leave the nest.
But why should be that pressure of become a parent? If it is such a challenging quest, should be a preparation for it, right? The same way you need to be prepared to become a lawyer or a doctor and learn how to help others, anyone should be prepared to become a parent before hand. But world wide, this is mostly seen as a survival instinct where as soon as you reach certain age you should start considering find someone to be pair with and become a family that will bring kids and keep the heritage going for prosperity. And that is in the best cases, because others don't have the opportunity or chance to wait or choose, they are arranged as any merchandise to belong to someone else or they are forced to be involved with someone after a natural mistake where a kid will be coming to this world, just to face the reality of a dysfunctional home and be the reminder of crushed dreams and a freedom taken away. So is it really the best option? How come in 21st century we can still be behaving like old school medieval times where blood needs to be preserve for the sake of properties and land and where psychology and sociology wasn't even a topic to discuss? We learn to be parents in the same way we learn to walk and talk, we imitate patterns. We learn what our parents tough us and avoid what we didn't like from them but at the end we have no guidance other than friends, family, books, media to make it through the process of becoming a good parent or at least raise good people.
Some of this discussion can be seen in the new comedy "Tully" (2018), a dramedy about parenting and motherhood with actress Charlize Theron at the center playing a suburban mom that has left her best years behind to rise two kids and one more on it's way, and she can't be more lost about it. Her husband works like crazy trying to provide what is needed for a middle class family, so when gets home only thing he wants to do is play a bit with his kids, then play some video games until he falls asleep. But not really digging into his relationship with hi wife, leaving her with all the stress of taking care of this family. So she is just going down and digging, because one of her kids seems to need special attention, one that she can not provide because she needs to take care of herself first to be able to, and with the new baby coming soon, she is just a mess right now, and she can't hide it. Reason why her brother, as a birthday present gives her a night nanny, a new kind of nannies that seems to be the new trend, where they come by night and take care of the baby and the house so mom can have a relaxing sleep. At first, she seems skeptical about letting a stranger in to her life and family but soon she realizes how much she needs help and once Tully, the night nanny, shows up, things start to change for good. She is able to sleep and not worried about waking up in the middle of the night to feed her baby, or clean the house, or make breakfast. Everything seems to be taken care of. And just the fact of seeing this changes plus the opportunity of relax at night gives her a new perspective and a breath that will be reflected in her whole family, husband included.
Soon she'll realize all That she has been missing as a person, for being a mom and she loves her children and her family but there is just too much to handle that she wasn't able and when she starts becoming friends of her new nanny, that will question her life in a good way. Why did she marry? And did she choose that guy as her partner for life? What about her sex life? And romance? Too many thing that she has forgotten by putting her children as a priority as should be but leaving behind herself which is not ok, because sooner or later time will catch up with her and that bill will be to high for the price. She used to be a hipster in Brooklyn before moving to suburbia. She used to go out and party all night, flirting with bartenders and artists. Letting her soul fly free over the metropolis of NYC, until life changed and she become a wife and then a mom. But to be able to listen to her kids needs, she has to pay attention to her own, because she is dancing in the limit of sanity and exhaustion. But no one is paying attention. Everyone in her life demands her attention but are incapable of giving her some, that is why this new nanny is changing her life and her role as a mom, showing her how to take care of herself while still be a mom, feeling pretty and desire while struggling with the effects of childbirth and raising two other kids so her time is ticking and she needs to find herself in able to keep this family going on, but it's hard and lonely sometimes. Everybody seems to be aware of the kids needs but what about the parents, who is helping them to raise the future generation of this world?
So, the movie definitely feels fresh and goes deep into serious topics about motherhood that will resonate to anyone, either you are a mom or have one. With a serious tone mixed with a comedic relief, usual signature from it's director Jason Reitman, and convincing performance from Theron that keeps trying to break her beautiful appearance in order to deliver a more average looking type of woman where we as an audience can focus in her talent rather than been distracted by her beauty, and works well in here, but the biggest flow is the rushed unexpected ending that leaves a lot of questions unsolved and gets lost between the characters self and her role in this family. But in general a movie that will entertain as bring some interesting topics to discuss one the lights turn on, specially for anyone who is a parent or trying to become one, because as we were saying earlier, this step in life should be a well thought decision rather than a must-be step in life, specially in an overpopulated planet, we don't need more people that will struggle with the consequences of bad parenting or dysfunctional families. We should focus on bring the best for the next generations so they ca have a healthy, caring, solid upbringing from those who are really ready for it and the rest of us, give them all the support as society to help them keep themselves in track as persons because life doesn't end when a new one comes in, just evolves, and should be a work in progress journey that will bring joy and struggle but rewarding at the end for both parties. So why not getting some help fist and learn more of ourselves in order to become the best for others? Now you know whom to call...
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