Train wreck or rebels of the new era?

What means monogamy these days? the simple fact of spelling that word brings a lot of emotions and perspectives lately. When not long ago, that was like a sure thing, the only way, a unique option. But now the idea of commitment or the fact of missing to try out other options seems just not right. Commitment has become a turn off. Now that girls are as or more independent than guys, the table is set for a long path of exploring and success that doesn't involve strings to one person in particular. And this includes a whole package of other insecurities and baggage that we carry for the rest of our lives. We transform our relationships in just one more point in our daily agendas that will only serve as a distraction or help when needed.

Modern days, people are so involve in their own lives that there's no room for drama, romance, adventure. Sex has become a pure release of physical need and a confidence boost. When someone desire us, theres no chemistry but the need of feel wanted meaning that we are attractive for others and we are still on the game. Other than that, we can fit more feelings as the agenda is full to commit for dinner or a movie. Just keep it as casual as possible. We value ourselves not for our relationships, friendships or romance, but letting being defined by our jobs and careers. So you are a better catch if in a great job, good income, nice place, great car, fashionable looks, gym body, but if you drink overnight or day, getting shit face, sleeping with whoever gets in your way, just call your friends to hang out, have fun, go party, or need a shoulder to cry or complain, thats just aceptable and fine, you still are a great catch.

All this is "Trainwreck" (2015), the first movie from comedian and stand up Amy Schumer, who has given to women a new voice bringing feminism to other levels, as an equal to manhood. Girls have same opportunities and issues as guys use to. so in a comedy tone she tells their story. Amy is the oldest sister, closer to her dad that cheats on her mom, deciding to leave them all. So being raised by a macho alpha dad, only turns his girl into a mess of emotions where there is no room for commitment and monogamy as an example of the biggest insecurity of feeling not enough for anyone so avoiding getting hurt is easy to commit to failure and dysfunctional relationships. That being said, Amy a grown up, spends her days working for a men's magazine, being great at what she does and spending her nights partying, having fun, getting drunk and hooking up with random guys in a way that sexy has not even been closer. Using sex as a need of validation and escape from feelings make it a circle when we need it to survive and then as a need.

Feelings like desire and passion have a new meaning not related to romance. We are free as humans to follow our instincts so why overthink it. Just have sex and thats fun and will provide an immediate satisfaction while no need to intimate with that person but still getting the benefits of it. And society now judges better someone with experience sex wise than a virgen or someone with traditional values regarding sex, so welcome to horniness. But then Amy gets involve with one of the doctors she is interviewing and happens this is an old fashion guy, a nice one, that really likes her and she actually likes him either. So everything would be set up for romance but things are not as easy as the average romantic comedies. We don't change that easy and those kind of feelings are part of us now, we need to work on them in order to change our previous behavior.

 So when the chance to share time, get to know someone and fall in love knocks the door we tend to run away, and faster if we actually like the person, why? cause we share this fairs and emotions when we feel no one will like us the way we are so we try to protect ourselves and from there starts a chain reaction that lead us into one failure to another. Would be so simple to blame just one thing or circumstance for that behavior. Most of the time, comes from our parents and the way the educate us, how we grew up, the people we are surrounded by, the connections we made in the past, and at the end is the mix of everything, like in the movie we get to see how all this girls misfires came from her own dad, which happens to be her favorite person, so overtime she spend some time with him, gets more bombing and reminding of why se acts that way and why she believes so poor in herself and her relationships. Sometimes family can be a curse.

But among everything is the way, we as individuals had evolved into this new being where open relationships are ok in order to let others involve in our relationship putting on the side that big weight of commitment and bringing more freedom to the table. Or the fact that we focus more time and energy to work out our body and brain but we ignore that fact of working on our souls and minds in order to heal all of that stuff we are dealing with and become a better self. Every day is more common to see and judge love and romance as an old fashion thing, blaming the fact that as an evolve civilization we are capable or open our minds and embrace new ways to explore relationships but ignoring the fact that with that excuse we are getting far from the actual core and sense of a relationship with would be love, trust, support, connection, share not just companion to avoid loneliness. What would happen next? Are we still in search of true love or the love our lives? or just for Mr. right now? How capable are we to commit and make a relationship work or will we keep finding excuses to make the effort and pursue the easy way, while treating like shit to others, or hurting their feeling? It's all a circle that we need to break as a full speed train needs to be stopped.