How To Be Single or how to love yourself...

Why is there an apparently obsession with relationships? There are tons of movies out there just focused on love and relationships. And by love i mean the one where you fall for someone else and that journey to get to know someone and create a connection that will lead into making plans together, share moments or a life in the future, sexual desire and finding yourself challenged by someone different. There is actually a whole genre dedicated to this kind of stories, so may i introduce you the rom-com, better known as romantic comedies, or romance, because not everything is happiness and cottons and candies. Love and relationships as we had already talked before are a hard work, a continuos improvement as we humans tend to lead on the complex side and like to evolve with time, changing our preferences and falling into routines that lead to boredom, but the fact to share a long period of time with someone that we chose is not as simple and romantic as it's sounds but definitely is worthy when feels right and specially choosing the right person for each one of us.

So after all this wave of worshipping romance and a quest for true love a new opportunity to present another kind of love feels refreshing and actually is very welcome as we are talking of the first love we need to achieve in order to love others, loving ourselves. Embracing the fact of being by yourself, with no one to support you or cheer you up, just getting to know you the same way you willing to do with others, enjoying your me times as fun times to remember, and accepting the fact that being alone and standing up for your own believes and pursuing your own dreams is not a selfish act or an excuse to shut down others but to enjoy your life cause it's only yours and you are the only one to make a statement of it ricing your voice out load over others to put yourself out and stand among others. So with that said, now may i present you "How to be single" (2016), a new comedy that also pretends to be romantic in a very contemporary way but as the title implies, this time is all about you and your own journey to find love, a love for yourself, to get to know someone, and that one is also you and that way, lovers and friends will come to you organically and will treasure moments that otherwise you would be sacrificing in order to make things work with others.

In order to make all this easier and making mores sense the story centers in four girls and a guy (and not to say this is a movie for women but allies to anyone but to be honest and also thinking that producers are trying to make money out of it, the main target for this genre are women, but don't get sacred if you are not, this one you'll definitely enjoy no matter what category you want to put yourself into). Our main character is a young girl, Alice, like the one in wonderland, but this one is another land called NYC, and she has been trapped in relationships all her life, jumping from to other, so when she finishes collage and get a job opportunity in the big apple, she decides to take a break with her college boyfriend to try to figure out things and get to know themselves as individuals out of the relationship, even when he's not agree with it. So as any young girl in a big city, great moments come to you, parties, long nights out, meeting guys, hook ups, or in resume lot of sex and alcohol. But the plan was to challenge herself as an independent woman so when she finds herself falling again into relationships with other guys and crossing paths with strangers just trying to jump into their lives, and again putting herself on the side, she will need to awake and realize that she doesn't know herself and she is not falling in love with anyone but just looking to feel completed, saved, and protected. All the wrong things to start a relationship.

Then is when her new best friend comes to the picture trying to show her that what she needs is to stand by herself and when this party girl seems superficial and just caring about having a good time, a slap of reality will shake her to prove that she might be the first to know the real her and actually is trying to help, pushing her in the right direction, avoiding commitment so she can enjoy life, her own time and pursue all those dreams she always talk about. But in this era where people are so focus in their selves, taking selfies of them even in the toilet, or just checking their phones 24/7, skipping moments just trying to be in the next one, this encouragement to appreciate time out of relationships could be misunderstood, so we get the other side of the coin, when we meet Alice's sister, an independent doctor, working long hours with big goals and a very successful career but a very lonely life. She know what she wants and she knows herself, maybe too much, so she's definitely not looking for any romance and no need of someone other than sexual needs. But when out of the blue she meets a young, charismatic, and old fashioned guy, that seems very into her, willing to get to know her even when she keeps pushing him away, she might realize that a life your by yourself could be sad and lonely. What's the fun about being successful having no one to share that with or without someone that will challenge you to be better and help you when things are not supposed to be easy and more important, that will love and accept you for who you are.

That's the true lesson about love and relationships, we need to find a balance and know yourself, like our fourth horse woman, a friend that spends all her free time in the bar downstairs of her apartment trying to find the man of her dreams online and figuring out statistics to make that happen, while the bartender, the guy that i mentioned before, starts falling for her. He is the guy that enjoys being single so he can sleep with as many girls as he can. He know the rues of the game and knows how to play it, and is working very well to him until he meets her, and she also now what she wants and he is not part of it so  she won't fall for him, she will fight to find her prince charming, and this one is not all about looks, but the perfect package, it's all about chemistry so when he is rejected, that;s when he will start his first step towards realizing that his life might have a lot of company but no one involves feelings or commitment and that can be sad as well, what;s the fun about paying solo all the time? Even fun can turned into boredom and routine is no fun. So as the movie quotes, the magic of love is that feeling and excitement of sharing with someone but is only those moments in between, when we are single, and standing by ourselves, the ones that will define us, and there will be just a few of them that will come and fulfill us, so we need to stop in that moment and enjoy cause when we realize will be gone. Love yourself and be happy without no one. That's the clue to find love and by love means sharing doing with others things that you would enjoy doing by yourself.