Love is a very complex thing. A feeling that most of us can't comprehend or even figure out. But one thing is for sure. We all are looking for it and willing to find it someday even we believe or not in it or scared to fall for it. True statement is that we as human could be different in many ways, each person very alike and very different at the same time to the other but only thing that unite us and we share in common is that powerful feeling of love and when that happens, great and big thing happen. But in order to get there is a long way and a path that just a few are willing to take regardless if back in their minds are dreaming about it. So what happens when two very different people connect but at the same time there is a sea of differences and what is called "a cultural barrier" in between that separate the feeling from the reason. How can we manage to understand, respect and love others if we can't understand them? How can we break this barrier if we don't know how because there s so much that we ignore from others background and now that we live in times of globalization where internet has united us as a whole and broke all physical limitations, we can see societies more and more diverse where new generations can't be defined as one pure race but a mix of some and new traditions have started to be written and taken by everybody else.
So whit all that said who can resist a rom-com, that will make us feel good for a moment, make us believe in love and laugh while make us think about the real things happening out there? This is "The Big Sick" (2017), a story that is presented as a love story while underneath is more than that. And all the critics are loving it. Under producer Judd Apatow wings presenting a very actual story that sometimes feels more like a documentary about new societies in big cities and countries where immigration has turned cultures into a clash of different backgrounds creating a whole new one united for more than just a label. To understand this better, let get deeper into it, which happens to be based on the real story of it's main characters and lead actor, Kumali, a Pakistani guy that happens to be a comedian trying to make his life through standing comedy, waiting to find it's moment and be found for some talent agent that will give him an opportunity to make it big. He's life as an immigrant is very simple. He has immersed into the American culture, loves comic books and video games and usually hang in bars with his roommate and friends, all comedians, and visit his family that lives in the suburbs of Chicago. But as any immigrant he tries to educate everyone at any opportunity about his background and country of origin. There are many facts that people don't know about Pakistan other than what they see in the news, most of it regarding terrorism but it's more to know, and one of their big traditions is arrange marriage.
His family keeps bringing girls home trying to find the best fit for him. But he is far from that now. He grew up along the American traditions that can't go along with his family and wants more for him but knows what the consequences will be so lives trapped in between what we wants and likes and what he is supposed to do and what is expected from him. Things get more complicated once he meets Emily, a young grad-school student that likes him and they connect in many ways, so they start just as a hook up thing, something casual, no strings, no commitment, but just casual fun. Until that fun starts to get serious and they keep running into each other, making them harder to not fall for each other. But besides the attraction and the chemistry they will soon find out that there are more differences than just be a guy and a girl. The way they were raised is very different and will put their love to a test. But when Emily gets sick and goes to a medical induced coma, things will get more complicated as families will get involved in the process. Emily's parents come to town to take care of the situation and will try to take him out of the picture but he is not willing to let her go, so he stays regardless if he is wanted or not. So as the time goes by waiting for good new about her recovery, Kumail, starts to get along this couple and they will also start to get him know and realize why their daughter fall in love with him.
Who can't relate to that? Everybody that has been in a serious relationship has faced the fact of meeting your partners family. And that is a nerve breaking situation. So many expectations are involved. Would they like you? Accept you? Welcome you to their family? Or all the opposite. Now imagine that situation adding the fact that you look different to them, your background is very different, so you have others traditions and way to see things. So that could turn into a mess. But again, the proof that all this won't matter at the end is that if you keep an open mind to get to know someone before judging them and realize why they are different from you, you might actually see that at the end they are more similar to you than you think, Everybody loves and want to be loved. We all enjoy laughing and need to cry sometimes. We all have our goals and try to be a better self, just figure out what that would be is needed. And if you look closer you'll realize how alike we all are. The only thing that matters at the end is if you a good person, no matter how do you look, what do like to do for fun, what holidays do you celebrate , the things that really matter, define you and connect you with the rest of the world are what makes you genuine, humble, smart, funny, educated, because everyone can relate to that and see that beyond however the cover looks.
Sometimes we wonder why some have better luck for love and why others just can't find it. And after being spoiled by Hollywood and their fairy tales making us believe that love will just happen, finally we are learning that love is a thing that we need to make it work out. And for all those hopeless romantic, the formula is not on the cliches presented in the movies or post cards, is about to find the right person and once you do, make it happen, and work hard to build that relationship that you looking for. The key is noticing who's the right for you. Someone that likes you, that makes time for you and specially is willing to get to know you and accept you for who you are. Many times we are just drawn by the cover and want a person that looks like all that we ever wanted. But beyond the psychical attraction, that is key and just the beginning, should be more, does he or she makes you laugh? can you two carry a conversation for hours going from topic to the other? Does that person makes you feel comfortable and inspired to be yourself and be a better self? Stays with you when feeling sick? There are so many facts that will indicate you that you met the one. Because if someone is ok with you when you wake up, looking at your most simple and natural way, farting when needed, all sweaty and smelly after work out, when sad or stressed out after a bad day. All this are thing that we all share as humans, no matter your background, where you were born, how do you look, if we n pass though all this judgments we an be able to relate to anyone and for once break the cultural barrier, and sometimes could be easier to do than the ones you grew up with and supposedly know you better and have more in common with you but all this is blinding you from what should be rather than what it is.
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