CASUAL...afraid of commitment?

Being single in the modern era has become more than a status, a luxury that just  a few are willing to let go. Why would you give up all the benefits of being in charge of own life, with no bigger responsibilities other than taking care of yourself? You can focus on improving all the areas where you think you might need some work done, fitness, career, go back to school, travel, investments, anything that will bring some challenge and fun to your life and routine. So why should i jump into a relationship where i might need to compromise all this, including my free time in order to share it with someone else? Well, specially because it's February, it's cold, and Valentine's Day is around the corner, the hopeless romantic in you would say, that is always better to share everything with someone. That love makes things better and it's a bigger motivation to improve yourself and bring the best out of you. That at the long run, building a family of your own will pay off as no one wants to get old by itself and missing those great moments that only family can bring. Because finding the right one is a way to complement yourself and build a team to face all the curves and joys that life will throw at you, plus some benefits as having a regular sexual partner to be adventurous with and explore sexuality, some taxes, social, and financial benefits of having a spouse and share incomes and expenses in order to get a better quality of life. But that is just a good thought. Once we are trapped in our routines and life style is hard to give up, plus new generations are coming more often from broken homes with divorced and re married parents so in lack of that role model is hard to be real and jump into a healthy relationship.

But talking about our own issues and fear to commitment is definitely no fun, reason why also in this modern era of tv and streaming, Hulu brings us a show that will match perfectly that lack of therapy while having some fun and awkwardness , "Casual" (2016- current), a dramedy series that follows a family through their messy lives while exposing what means to be single, professional and a parent in the new millennium. Basically we follow three main characters, in the center we have Alex, the youngest brother that is living the life after co founding a dating site where a special algorithm will help you to find the right one, but funny thing he is super single and far from finding the right one, using it only to go on dates and have some casual sex with all these girls looking for love and the one. But this behavior is no random, no girl wants to be with him either as he acts like an douche with everybody, taking all his frustrations in life towards anyone that crosses his path, that's why he lives by himself, lonely and horny at a very nice place in California. What should be the perfect example of a role model for young entrepreneurs, is just the opposite, someone that had luck finding the right spot in business, able to make it and live from it. But how many times have we seen this already in real life? Is it fiction copy reality or the opposite? The fact that so many young people can achieve success so early and fast is turning the game into a debauchery where unable to grow they get frozen in time acting like a 20 year old unable to grow emotionally an develop that sense of commitment in any aspect of their life.

In the other corner, we get to meet mother Valerie and also Alex's oldest sister, and her daughter Laura, a teenager that sometimes act like the grown up in the family. She has left her husband after he admitted being cheating on her and have a girlfriend now, so now she is moving in to his little brother's house trying to stick with family and help each other through their shitty lives. Soon she will be introduced to her brother's way of life, full of casual fun and immediate pleasures, with no commitments and responsibilities but to satisfy the need of company for a moment. But she is not familiar with this, neither ok with it, as she has always been more conservative and as a psychotherapist, she can't see what is the healthy side of it. But now that she is single again and has decided to put herself back in the game again, she will be exposed to the reality of dating in an era of online dating and sex apps. This serves to clash two different generations trying to understand the new status quo and lifestyle where we get immediate pleasure and a lack of intimacy. And for her will be a double shock as soon will realize that her own daughter is living this kind of life, being sexually active at only 16 years old, and with more openness about it and more experience that her as the grown up in the family. But she is still dealing with her broken heart and this new exposure to dating and romance in the new millennium is just making her anxious and overwhelmed. How can you seek for intimacy and passion when all you need is to swipe right or left, and no one seems like offering that? You can't even say you like them on a first date because that will scare anyone away. Where is the romance and get to know someone in all this?

That's why we get Laura, the young soul in the picture that obviously will relate more to her uncle than her mom. She's a precocious girl that tries to act like the grown up in the house but at the end is just a teenager going through all kind of issues proper of her age. Using her boyfriend more for pleasure and status at school than really care about him, she also has a crush in her teacher so will try any way and opportunity to get closer to him and try to seduce him, without noticing that he can't see her as the kid she still is. But she doesn't know about love or intimacy or passion, all she gets its from her friends and social media where what matter is who you sleep with, how experienced you are sexually so you can share your sexual misadventures and seem like a really bad ass woman rather than a naive girl. So basically  we are teaching the new generations how to swim with sharks and become a hunter before even be ready for it. But who cares? it's only casual, just something random and fun. Nothing to be worried about as they are all well informed about protection to avoid any risk. While not long time ago sex was such a myth still, now is something that we breath and buy every minute, having access to it 24/7 and by just a click. So why should we jump into something serious and build a relationship if we can get to have fun anytime without any commitment? As Laura serves as an example of those that can't look for something that had never been part of, or Alex will discover once we let's that facade of attitude come down and show himself as one vulnerable and able to have feelings just afraid of being hurt again, we all will discover that behind this casual status, hides a bigger issue, a fear that is not about commitment but to the fact of being vulnerable and being hurt.

Plus when you never had experience the ambiance of functional family, you can't know what are you missing, and now we all have the excuse of become dysfunctional since we all are in the same status and page, we are all a mess, self involved in our issues, and not because we all have them, but in an era where sex comes as fast as your food, anything that might cause some kind of trouble, messed up with our routine, take u out of our comfort zone, will be an issue for us, and because of that deserves to be avoided. Sex is part of our nature, an instinct and a necessity that drives all human kind, so is something that needs to be full fill, but romance, love is more a luxury that not many can afford, and means hard work and even the pay off is worthy, not everyone is ready or able to deal with what comes included in that benefit, so, let's better focus in matter that we can control, like our career, hobbies, health, and let's keep sex casual as a win win in time and energy, plus we get to have sex with not just one exclusive person but with whom we want or could. But again, the reflection of this status comes from somewhere deeper than an easy life style. Our parents, our friends, family, past relationships, they all left a mark in our soul that in order to survive will protect itself by keeping this light and meaningless, because get deep into those scars and holes will hurt and no one likes pain, but is better to keep digging that hole while is painful without noticing how deep can it go and sometime will get to the bottom and that might even kill us or face the fact that we all have baggage and we need to face those people that are messing our lives and deal with it for once? it might be a casual habit but at the end is our life that is on stake, do you still want to play or be an adult? Maybe both?