EASTSIDERS... have you found love?

Is it love long lasting? Could we still believe love is forever? Or simple assume that in reality love fades away with time? We've been focused on finding love that first of all, sometimes we don't take the time to find the right one, falling into desperation to be loved and find that right person for each one of us that we forget to take care of ourselves, being ready for falling in love and be emotional stable and open to find and create a connection, and second, we focus too much energy on searching that love that if you lucky, once you find it, don't know what to do to keep it alive and make it last. We are bombed by stories about the quest of finding love and that other half to complement our lives and will make us better and blah, blah, blah, but how many times or stories have we listened about after the happy ending, what happen when things get real and we need to deal with the other side of that excitement and those big plans are crashed by routine and bills need to be paid, and we have bad days, and get cranky and we get fired or stressed out. When we wake up next to someone and w need to make things happen and its not sunshine and rainbows anymore but is another ay, same as the ones we used to deal with by ourselves just that now we have to deal with them having someone at our side and that might be refreshing and exciting to hear for most people but if you not in the same page or synchronized, it can turned into a living hell, complicating the most simple decision into a big fight and dilema, just turning everything into a snowball that keeps growing till will crash in your face.

Welcome to the world of "EastSiders" (2012-current), a tv show from Logo TV and now showing in Netflix, targeting the LGBT community, but having some topics that will impact anyone, as these days we are all connected and as they tried to imitate straights traditions now the tables had turned and those conservative families and looking to them trying to open their minds and traditions, willing to explore more and have more fun before settling and committing. Because now feels like long time ago those days when gay culture was criticized and exposed as a myth and most straight's were wondering how works for them but now it's all the same way for everybody. Girls love to have a gay friend and gays are getting married and having children, straight guys can go and party with drag queens and lesbians are ruling corporations. It's a new era in terms of acceptance and diversity but seems like instead of going forward in terms of relationships and emotional balance that we are going backwards as we still can see how many gays are just looking and open for casual sex, doing drugs, bitching others as part of their own insecurity in behalf of defending their own person, and now all these chaos moved to the other side, where girls now as part of the feminist movement also demand to have as many sex as guys, they don't want to settle right away, they want to build a career and guys of course are enjoying these, as they can have fun without commitment so now the run unleashed and we are seeing more single parents, more divorced couples and more single people over their 40's. Is it like a sexual revolution that is taking over traditional values and putting love on the side? Or is it true that love is overrated and why to find one when you can have plenty?

Surprisingly this show is a new and fresh taking over the usual one person seeking for love thing, this goes further, following a young couple of guys, Thom and Cal, played by the creator and screenwriter. These guys have been together for 5 years already and after sharing deep moments like meeting each others parents, some family loses, moving together, career bumps, among others, now they face their biggest treat: infidelity. And the reason why is this in the picture puts a big question on their table: is their love over?, are they done with each other? what happen with all those moments they spent together and all what they have been through together? It all goes to the toilet because one of them is feeling confused and met someone that is attractive to him and is giving him that spark that is missing back home. Also it's not helping that Cal, is also suffering of substance abuse, drinking a lot and getting drunk and waisted every day, and not only at parties or social events but by himself at home. So once Cal realizes Thom's infidelity, he approaches it facing both of them to figure out who's that new guy and why is stealing his boyfriend from him, but all this process will just make him realize  all what he has been doing or missing that has been pushing Thom away from him, so when he hooks up with Thom's lover, he would realize what is missing in his own relationship and wat his boyfriend saw in him, but still the connection they have built in all these years is stronger and worth to fight for. So a realization comes to their world, they need to evolve because they are not the same people they use to be and that love has evolve to so is moving forward or die, so they go for opening the relationship and explore together new terms of sex, and spice things for both, with good communication and respect for each other, like the team they use to be.

But as said, this is not only a show for the LGBT community as it targets universal topics and while we can see how this couple fights to keep their love alive and evolve as a couple and as individuals, we also get to know other characters, mostly their friends and lovers, that some are struggling to find love in times of social media, where al depends on what you can offer by a profile, some sexy pics and successful job, and when are millions out there looking for the same. But also are others that already met a nice person that is willing to commit and spend time, getting to know you, and make it work, because they actually like you, but you are too afraid of commitment which is no more than a reflection of your fears and insecurities, that make you not emotional available, just like Kathy, Cal's bets friend, a girl that start seeing Ian, an actually nice guy, totally emotional stable and a good catch that happens to be very attracted to Kathy, and also because he is very attracted to asian girls, so that helps, but is struggling to make her open up and trust him, as she keeps finding excuses to break up with him, or make a drama scene so she can push him away, when this is all what she's been wanting, meet a nice guy and feel loved but now it's there seems scary and makes her vulnerable and she's not ready to get hurt.

So in terms of love and relationships, there is no playbook or anything written on stone as we all different and we have different personalities and ideals, but we also share the fact to be all humans and be affected by the same things, so sometimes is for a big help to listen other's stories and try to find answers to our own issues by understanding other's journeys. But definitely the first step is to get to know ourselves so we can learn and identify what motivates us, what scares us, what do we want and what we don't, so when the time comes to find or meet a possible match we don't rush into anything and take it slow, letting us enjoy the fact of getting to know someone and see potential red flags or realize if we are a good match, specially having in mind that we won't be the same we are now in five or ten years and we don't want to grow apart because we fall into an excitement trap, that will hit us when the dust fades out and realizing wasn't the right person for a long run but just the one for a moment or to satisfy a need. The fact that are shows out there trying to show that everything is possible and that we need to get our shit together before asking for something or wishing to be loved before loving ourselves, or trying to feel accepted when we judge our similar, or hiding behind casual sex or instant pleasure to avoid facing our fears and insecurities won't get us far and will only destroy us more and more and this will be a reflection for the next generations and our society sons human and imperfect we can be we also need to fight to be racional and civilized and even some rules were made to broken there are others that exist for a reason and that reason might be make us work together, get us in line and give us some structure away from our animal instinct and only following that we can build a structure called relationship, friendship, marriage, community, or society. love exist and is real but as part of a human emotion, will evolve the same way we do so we can't expect to  settle down and wait that things will stay the same forever, we need to keep building all around us the same way we are moving other wise the next time we turn the tv on, we will see the story of wat could have been if, and that's a story that has no way back.